what’s in a carrot?

Learning to work in a different environment can be challenging at any point in time.  There are adjustments to be made and everyone has to get used to each other.  So it should have been no surprise when a situation occurred which rocked the otherwise peaceful process of integration.  Yet it rocked me enough that I had to take a serious step back and examine what was going on.

I put my coach hat on, and asked myself the three basic questions I would ask someone I was coaching:

What IS the situation?

What is making me so angry about it?

What is my motivation in this?

First, the situation was simple:  While my position is in organizational development and HIV-AIDS, another volunteer in the education programme accompanied the head of the organization to an HIV-AIDS partner meeting.  The reasons why this occurred were unknown to me.

What made me angry – now letting the emotions surface – was that I felt I had missed an opportunity to work in my sector of interest.  I was angry because someone else was given the chance I wanted to have.  Perhaps I felt I deserved to have this chance because it was in my job description.

But what it really boiled down to was where my motivation was.  My carrot, so to speak, is working in health and HIV-AIDS related projects.  That’s what motivates me in my other responsibilities.  It’s what I crave.  It is much as though the motivation is also the reward.

But was that clear to everyone?  Did I ever voice this out loud?

My strategy on how to deal with this became clearer.  In a place where job descriptions become irrelevant in the face of work to be done, did the written word really matter?  It wasn’t going to be about complaining that another volunteer took my spot at the table either.  It wasn’t going to be about telling the boss he had done something wrong.  None of that would be productive in the short and long-term – and none of it was essentially accurate.

It boiled down to this: I needed to ensure he knew what my carrot was.  Motivations and interests are universal.  By discussing openly about how much it means to me to have these opportunities within my area of interest, we got on the same page.  He then knew I was only sharing my desire for further consideration from a motivation standpoint rather than disappointment and anger.  We moved beyond “whose job is it to do what”.

Together we were able to pick a path where motivation and reward became one.

When opportunities come, a well defined – and shared – carrot has a good chance to win.

Awareness: an end to violence against women

Fighting for what’s right is sometimes fighting for rights.  Such was the case on November 25^th – the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women – here in Maroua.

The ceremony in the courtyard of the École Publique du Pont Vert was a sight to behold It marked not only the day but also began 16 days of activism .  It was a united call for an end to early marriages of girls as young as 12, the violence committed on girls in and out of school, and the difficulty of girls having access to an education due to lack of a birth certificate.

The sheer volume of sensitization needed within the community to address all of these issues is overwhelming – it cuts to the core of the community’s identity.

Sensitization and awareness: two important concepts to keep in mind in our globalized world because their effectiveness at any level has meaning.  Here is my take:

As an outsider to these issues, I cannot help but feel the pain of the struggle right into my core.  While I cannot, in my own frame of reference, yet fully understand these issues, I can only hope to learn enough so that my unwillingness to accept violence against girls and women fuels, in some way, actions that will create change.

First be aware, then seek to understand before stating what you are willing to accept – or not – and only then look for actions, solutions and change.

As in a case such as this, it will take a lot of time.  Right now I cannot get much further than the first few steps.  I am stuck on the mental image of a friend’s 10 year old daughter back in Canada.  In Cameroon she could be two years away from marriage.  This beautiful child – not even a pre-teen! – would, in this society I am just getting to know, perhaps not be allowed to pursue an education further than age 12.  Or she wouldn’t have started school in the first place because she didn’t have a birth certificate.

It boggles the mind.  My heart aches.  But then it induces, motivates and pushes me into wanting to understand more what drives this to occur.  It sensitizes me – and hopefully you as well – to open our eyes that much wider to the issues of violence against women in all of its forms.  Violence isn’t always physical.

We can’t all be activists.  But we can all be aware – aware of the fight in our own backyard and the fight halfway around the world.  The ultimate goal is unlikely to occur without both being rid from our consciousness.  Yet action without reflection would diminish the impact – so let’s think a moment:

In what way can you mark a moment where you now stand, have stood or will stand for the elimination of violence against women?

How can you raise awareness within yourself of this ongoing struggle?

How can you affect the life of one other woman so that she, too, can be aware?

 

**this blog post is a two-part cross-posting with “one day: ending violence against women” on the blog Beneath the Mosquito Net**

admirable = fighting?

An interesting piece of wisdom has emerged already in the experience of working in a different culture: what is admired in people. Essentially, what makes people likeable or admirable is not at all what one would expect, such as wealth, position or connections. In Cameroon, so far it is the will to fight.

“Il est bien ce gars là. Il se bat.”

Literal translation: This is a good guy. He fights.

But the meaning is much deeper than just someone who fights against injustice, corruption, or lack of rights. It actually refers to how hard a person is willing to put into his or her own future. It equates to people who refuse to accept things as they are because that is what there is. It concerns people who are willing to consciously forge ahead.

This category of people that are admirable and likeable, from a local perspective, maybe those who work several jobs to care for their families, refuse to pay bribes (or rather a “cadeau” as it is called here), accept things that may be below them in terms of work, but will help them meet their needs. I may even be those who accept lower pay for their work, but put in the highest of quality because they believe it their efforts will flourish.

Essentially being admirable here belongs to people who do not accept the status quo, are determined to push forward and take their future into their own hands.

The obvious lesson from this is the value of re-evaluating what we find admirable. The less obvious is that, perhaps, opening ourselves to seeing admirable qualities and determination from within our own selves – allowing us to see in what way we are willing to fight – may be a new avenue to seeing the same in others.

What do you most readily consider admirable?
In what way could you see “being admirable” differently?
What does “fighting” mean to you?

train station dance

Within any culture, there are sub-cultures.  One of which, in these first days in Cameroon, has stood out.  For lack of a better term, I’ll call this one “the Yaoundé train station culture”.

A porter’s job is to ensure that he not only carries his client’s luggage from the vehicle to the station to the train, but also get you settled in “first” so as to use as much of the available storage space as possible.  He has to manoeuvre around all the other porters looking for passenger’s business.  This requires being louder, faster, and more aggressive.

The train attendant is responsible for guaranteeing that only ticket holders are admitted into the train car for which they paid for:  first class, second class, etc.  This requires formality, a no-nonsense attitude and an ability to verbally push back anyone who will not obey their rule of law – which is, admittedly, what they are there to enforce.

In the moment where our porter clashed with the train attendant – shouting back and forth, trying to plough through both the formalities of boarding the train and getting through the masses of people looking to do the same – something entirely unexpected happened.

A man, in casual yet clean-cut clothing, wearing an official-looking badge arrived on the scene.  In the calmest of voices, demeanour and attitude, he asked quite simply “what is the problem?”  The porter pleaded his case in his “job-required” aggressiveness, the train attendant indicating in response that he wasn’t letting him (or us) on because he hadn’t checked the passengers’ tickets, and so on.

“Ah yes, I see.  Then let’s see those tickets please” he said still in his serene tone and stature.  Then he slowly, methodically, inspected each ticket, smiling to each of us in between.  Then declared solemnly that we could board the train.  Have a good trip, he was indicating – a nice, tranquil, relaxed trip.

A simple story really – but an important one in inter-cultural observations.  Everyone had a role to play.  But each role also required a particular attitude, mode of operation and force of personality to be executed so that the “train station dance” could take place.

The official’s entire sense and outpouring of calm in the chaotic atmosphere that is the Yaoundé train station was a lesson in itself:  one must take a step back and look at the situation for what it is.  Looking beyond the roles, beyond the emotions that sometimes cloud a rather simple interaction.

In developing the skills of calmness in chaos, something magical can happen.  A new dance can be created.

Putting it out there

Opportunities don’t always come on their own.  One sometimes you have to go looking for them.

We can control the inputs in our lives – and not so much the outcomes.  With a bit of planning, strategizing and a big old push in the right direction, we can create what we most want for ourselves.

Fate or the tempting of fate, either way:  stay in the driver’s seat.  Read more on this here.

The put it out there – and get out there!